There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I don’t know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she’ll die. Lyrics from: http://bussongs.com/
I know why she swallowed the fly… she was gardening!!!
After having brunch with a friend this morning in a cafe that is part of a garden centre, I made the most of the visit and bought some new plants for the garden, hoping to inspire me to get stuck in and tidy up my very neglected courtyard.
It worked. I got busy and did a major number on everything. However this very annoying fly wouldn’t leave me alone, so I spun round to whack it away and it flew into my mouth!!! There was much coughing and spluttering in a feeble attempt to get rid of it before I swallowed it. I ran inside and rinsed with gallons of water then had a big glass of coke (coz coke can dissolve coins if you leave them soaking in it long enough I’ve been told, so it’s bound to kill flies and any germs it carried with it).
After 5 minutes I could still feel it in my mouth, but knew I was imagining things, so I went back outside to carry on in the garden. Suddenly I felt a tickling in my mouth again so I ran back to the sink to have another big cough and a drink, that’s when the fly flew out of my mouth and landed in the sink looking very crushed but STILL ALIVE.
I picked it up and fed it to my Venus Fly Trap but even that didn’t want it, I wonder why, but eventually it closed its jaws on the still wriggling thing that had set up camp in MY MOUTH.
Oh my lord that was so well written i could see it happening, just about put me off my lunch.
THAT’S HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe you did not throw up. 🙂